I just used Master P to describe what sound the letter U makes to my daughter...
When did we start counting Thursdays as weekends?
When we got our fake ids in grade 11, why?
I just feel like it's time to start counting wednesdays as well...
I know. My only sports are biking to buy drugs and running from the police.
whoever put homecoming and halloween on the same weekend owes me a new liver and a get out of jail free card.
I told him I would only take his calls if he was dead, dying, capturing a midget, or buying me shots.
I stand by my new policy.
How am I so hungover that wearing sunglasses hurts my head?
I may have played more drinking games with my family this last week than all of freshman year...
There is an alarming amount of urine in here.
You're cock blocking me from my own boyfriend. What kind of shit is that?
Cancun blessed me with a drinking problem
I'm drunk still and I cried and now I'm watching Whitney Houston singing the national anthem and I'm crying more
No, I'm not a weirdo, I keep bondage straps under my matress like a normal person, not a diary.
hahahaha classic. this is why you are going to a college with a hospital right next to it
sober me thinks like you do. drunk me needs sober me's advice. am i allowed to go to his house?
Next time I say "i forgot to eat dinner, oh well" before drinking STRAP ME TO A CHAIR AND FORCE FEED ME BEFORE ALLOWING ME TO CONSUME BOOZE
Randomize
