This is evicking siegelnvs
Im sorry?
This is fucking ridiculous*
Whenever I miss you I just turn on Tool Academy
Not just anyone can homewreck on three continents simultaneously
you are my hero
Everyone is in jail. I'll see what i can do though
Are you pooping in the stall next to me?
Maybe....
Cause I just heard a fart and it sounded like one of your farts.
At Grandmas for dinner. She is drinking a smirnoff ice. As soon as I saw it I had to stop myself from yelling chug.
there is a money trail leading from my bathroom to my living room.. the trail ends with a half eaten bag of chips with a note that says "magical chipz".. who am i?
I poured everyones drinks into the ice bucket and then stuck my face in it. Apparently I'm a greedy drunk.
Were going to have to vacuum the bathtub, great party
My last 2 google image searches were 'a lot of pudding' followed by 'a generous portion of pudding'
You have ruined sex with him for me. Now all I think is "boy scout" and I want to go home
a guy offered me a piece of pizza if I'd make out with a random girl. We got the whole damn box and I ain't even mad
I just wanna suck his dick on my balcony ya know
SHE MASTURBATED TO THE THOUGHT OF ME HAVING AN ALL DUDE THREESOME WITH HER EX BOYFRIENDS.
he asked me why I let you steal the gnome, and you jumped out of the bathroom, yelled "you know why!" and ran outside with said gnome
Randomize
