I'm being pulled over???
For what!?!?!
??? I'm in a cab!!!!!
last night i told the bartender i only have 3 days left to live so i wouldnt have to pay for drinks
this morning i woke up with a nothing but a pair of what i believe are fairy wings on - and the bartender in my bed
he thinks ill be dead by monday and still came home w me.. WTF?
messed up. what color are the wings?
Everything went well, until I walked into his bedroom and there was a Ronald Reagan poster watching over his bed - creepy
Lonely and bored. Am I allowed to play Dance Dance Revolution by myself?
Come home. Power Hour by yourself is only fun for the first 10 minutes.
he told me that if i wanted to smoke he could make a piece out of my shoe. were keeking this kid around
He choked me out. i woke up to poo. I dont think i like S&M
Well after last night it's official...I cannot die...it time to use this power for good instead of handle contests
What is an appropriate "thanks for saving my life" gift? I don't have any experience with this.
Why do I have a bunch of cash....and your bra.
You tipped the Uber driver extra for taking your phone away while you were drunk texting
let’s face it, me joining a co-ed soccer league is like, 33% motivated by my crotch seeking a healthy outlet
I got my period on eclipse day. I'm officially in line with the moon.
Who knew she had talents apart from chugging wine spritzers
His dick is curly. It's adorable.
Randomize
