just drove past a church sign that said "jesus got 'er done" ... welcome to the south
Do you want the good news or bad news first?
bad news
The bad news is i thew up on your bed, the good news is i found out who ate your cheetos.
and in the morning, while we were eating breakfast, she was all " i think someone sneezed into my shirt..." she'll never know.
so my mom told me to suck on something if I have to cough. so I guess blow jobs are ok
he had more hair on his balls then in my Easter basket
I'm pretty sure I saw a man standing on a table with no shirt on getting sugar thrown at him while "pour some sugar on me" blaring while the cops were in the house.
It's shedding
I told you penises don't tan
The bride says you won't want any of the single ladies...
Let's let the open bar be the judge of that.
I'm dying. The alcohol is viciously exiting my tiny body.
I think he should just go away to a small penis island and never come back
He snapchated me a photo of his penis with the caption "it needs a home".
I was just going for a one night stand and now I'm at breakfast with his entire family.
So I sniffed too hard this morning before work and I THINK THE COCAINE JUST STARTED ROUND 2.
I've seen too many naked penises for this to be a normal Monday morning
Pretty sure this radio station is run by a cult. Good thing it's in Spanish, can't brainwash someone who can't understand you.
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