I un-blacked out around 7am watching J.lo videos on youtube
So does your leg always twitch violently when someone plays with your clitoris? Or has my ten years of piano playing finally paid off?
I haven't been able to trust a girl since spanks came out
Did I tell you that you looked cute last night? I looked at the pictures. I lied.
They were so loud I wrote them a sex critique and taped it to his door.
Oh god. It's my first day here, I'm still drunk and somebody just drifted in a forklift. I'm going to die.
Well no need to be a stranger, even if you aren't interested in joining my bisexual polygamist marriage. New city, new friends.
I waxed the left side of it and was in too much pain to do the right side so my crotch looks like cruella devil
I dnt think she needs convincing on the threesome part, it's the threesome with your roommate situation that needs some work
I woke up in a lawn chair by the lake to some man revving his boat motor at me.
Nooo, I ran into two if my exes, both having their engagement parties at the bar. It was like a fucking Eskimo family reunion, but with more tequila.
Let's have sex in an apple orchard
pray to the hookup gods
Jealous. I want an iud. Maybe there's a late night bodega that'll insert one for me
I don't know what to do about my nipple.
Randomize
