i woke up to see him pissing on your n64. thats like killing a unicorn. punishable by death for sure.
Just because we had intercourse doesn't mean we're friends.
I had to go to the bank to confirm purchases made on 10/31/09 because they were signed as Lady Gaga
You go to school with some of the ugliest girls I've ever seen... How are you not getting laid?
She posts like 3 statuses a day pleading for pity. Responding positively would be like giving a dog a treat for shitting on the floor.
we had incredible sex, then he proposed with the vibrating cock ring
All his texts have the signature of a date with a smile. I asked him what it means. IT'S THE DAY HE QUIT DOING DRUGS
is election day enough of a holiday to justify getting fucked up on a tuesday?
haha it staarrted out with just getting drunk then it turned into sports authority. So now im 4th or 5th in line and shit faced. Help me
well what is some mechanical horse racing with out blow involved
She kept looking at me and saying "you are the scary high".
How was the party? Lets put it this way: "He wants her dick" was a factual sentence stated last night.
Of the 4 nights I've gone downtown this week, I've been "piss in the parking lot" drunk 5 times
FINE. BE CELIBATE AND ACCUMULATE CATS. SEE IF I CARE.
i realized my signature handshake has now become a hookup. i love what college has done to me.
Randomize
