Have you learned any life lessons?
I like big butts and I cannot lie.
Jason just peed on the potty all by himself!!
"omg awesome!, you do realize we aren't together anymore"
Being a responsible DD does not include attempting to coordinate a 4 taxi caravan to bar #3
We looked at pictures of a Texas banjo contest from 2006 for a half hour and then were surprised by who won. That stoned.
Dont tell her I prefer to have an aura of mystique surronding me and my penis.
I took a few sips of my hugeee bottle of liquid Vicodin and smoked my one hitter and now I'm going thru my attic like Indiana Jones
My goal for the night is to see your housemate's one lonely teste.
It would have to be recorded, because that sex tape would be humanity's primary evidence of miracles
We should get Al Michaels to provide commentary for it.
What?! Why else would they put table cloths on a table if not for discreet oral sex? That's why they were invented! Read a book...
she said she wouldn't go home with me until she looked up my name in her sex offender app. do i really give off that vibe?
Yeah. It's not just the beard either.
Do you remember peeing in the sink while I was throwing up?
No ma'am, I do not. I found a video of us trying to do a trust fall though. Emphasis on the trying.
Below this exterior of ice is a layer of cum. Followed by a pool of gin. More cum. Then, finally a heart.
I think I just pulled an onion peel off my boob from sleeping on their kitchen floor
How can I prove that I give 401k advice and not handjobs?
Hey I'm trying to get back with my ex I'mm done doing whatever we were doing I hope things workout for you
Weird flex but ok.
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