Let's make love on the newspapers that declare financial doomsday
we ike ciroccccc we love patroneeeee shost shothosthsothosthostsssss veryboyddddyyyy
go home
chastity bono is officially a man...and has a really hot girlfriend...life doesn't make sense
End of the semester and I banged 14 freshman. I'm like my own welcome to college orientation guide.
I just saw a girl licking a cheeseburger wrapper. dont ever let me get that fat
I couldn't sleep so I drunk ellipticaled for an hour. Worst. Idea. Ever.
when you tell me you got me a birthday present, I have to assume it will show up in a drug test.
Happiness for him is a different happiness than you can supply cuz you have life standards, morals and goals that dont include the bar or beer everynight.
Dude so coolest charity idea ever, think aids walk but instead of miles you drink beers oh the possibilities
I just sprawled out on my bedroom floor and cried while shoveling chocolate into my mouth.. I should not have Bacardi at home
He made me cum 7 times AND I nearly drowned him during that 69 in the back of a ford focus. Yeah I should get my gynocologist.
whoa! who said he's my boyfriend?
Oops. Sorry. That guy you keep accidentally running into in public. And at home. And with your vagina.
Things my liver can't take in one weekend. Surprise nights off at work and male strippers. Woke up jaundiced.
Ur betting me $100 that I can't do ur sister?
Can I borrow a thong? I’m having drinks with a cute boy tonight and I’m out of clean underwear
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