I made a mac n' cheesicle. Better in my head than in real life. Gonna keep smoking to see if it gets better.
Dude you has no fucking this poptart
What?
I dont know to explain this.
Yeah that's one way to look at it on the other hand MY FUCKING BED CAUGHT ON FUCKING FIRE
Hypothetical question: how bad would bacardi be as an IV drip?
death...100% death...what r u planning.
Sweetie, don't go home with him. You can do so much better. Everyone else at the bar agrees.
I can't even remember the last time I took my own pants off
I'm sorry I did drugs then got really loud and bitchy at your party and judged your choice in one night stands.
I got kicked out of the men's bathroom at the diner last night because i was straddling the sink attempting to pee with pants on. Beat that.
If a handjob meant commitment I would literally touch zero dicks
After closing we did it on every flat surface in the bar. Best use a coaster if you're coming to happy hour today.
Rough day
Good thing I've started drinking again
yes, i'm a douce. but i'm a high quality douche.
So high I legit spent 20mins in the shower just holding my tits cuz they feel bigger than normal.
He referred to our sex as "an Olympic event." My tits are bruised.
i am currently wearing a bowl of frosting on my head. i do not regret any of my life choices leading to this moment
Randomize
