Someone just uploaded pictures on facebook of you making out with random girls. I'm telling you because I'm assuming you don't remember anything, but the 236 pictures in the album should give you a good clue.
You hit on my mom and then passed out in the kiddie pool.
We found her on the trampoline. She told us she was jumping so she could puke & rally. I think I want to marry her.
It's either my own vomit or popcorn butter in my ear right now. Banking on the second one.
We made popcorn last night. So it's both
Its not even real halloween yet. This extremely toxic yet briliant costume is going to kill me
CAN I EVER JUST MAKE OUT EITH SOMEONE AND NOT GET FRIEND REQUESTED BY THEM THE NEXT DAY.
I know of an excellent nanny. A lot like Mary Poppins but way cooler. And likes pot.
his mom called during sex and he made me talk to her I think we're getting serious
I just told my bowl "sorry" for putting it down, because I thought I hurt its feelings. omg. I'm high.
You and your dick were a topic of high regard tonight
Today will be the day I throw up in my backpack in the middle of class
Best and worst whiskey dick ever. I am hungover and can't move from the hours of sex, he on the other hand has a raw bruised dick. I win.
He calculated like a serious conversion in his head the other day and got a crazy number and I was like damn that’s hot please proceed to take your clothes off.
So how do u get your coat out of the coat room when someone is fucking on it?
lord you gonna make me abandon my soup for tasteful catboy nudes
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