remember about an hour ago when i told you i was never drinking again? i may or may not be mixing malibu with caprisun. just saying.
We've finally become those guys who you'd see in middle school when you went to the park who are just stoned out of their minds sitting on the swings.
She asked me to facebook all the girls I'd hooked up with. She started crying when I started my search with A.
All I remember about walking back home was that I maced my shadow.
dude he was laying on two half-naked chicks, as they rubbed him down with lotion, while rolling a joint. hes like a modern-day african king
Times like this, when you talk openly about Tinkerbell being your spirit animal, are times when I'm allowed to question your sexuality.
He asked me to hum the Ghost Busters theme song as I was going down on him
She gave me what I will now dub a "hurricane sandy". Loud, wet and sloppy BJ that made me want to stay home and complain about shit on the Internet
It happened to me once. But i washed off in a duck pond and walked home naked.
Good, be his mentor. Like a tiny gay Yoda.
There should be a Doritos delivery van or something.
you just won the triple crown of sex! your prize is more sex.
We do have a rich storied history of emotional warfare
I almost rear ended this hot guy driving a Porsche Cayenne just so I could get his phone number
He tried to brush a hair off my cheek, but turns out it was just a freakishly long chin hair. So no, we didn't bang.
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