considering you've had every STD known to man, you think if i sent you a picture of my dick (no homo) you could tell me whats growing on it?
This girls a $30 bar tab from being bi
I'm about to take my first shit since thursday. I'm scared. pray for me. If I don't make it, tell my family I love them.
She's gonna be fat in the future. On a side note I had a "It's not you, it's me." conversation with a bottle of jack last night.
it was a 10 min screaming orgasm. i don't care that you were next door and didn't appreciate all the noise.
The cop was more concerned with the syringes on the dash board than looking for the source of the smoke. Thank god for diabetes!
Sitting in back of morning lecture drinking a daqueri from my pink unicorn cup. Pretty sure the girl next to me smells it.
The realization of how permanent those tattoos really were set in this morning... I am SO sorry.
I was looking threw the photos on my phone. There is 8 different ones of us peeing on things.
Cory and I accidentally had a sexual adventure last night.
How do you ACCIDENTALLY have a sexual adventure?
Bring the pizza ill bring the boundaries we can cross
If I ever look like I'm about to have a repeat of last night, hit me. Just smack me as hard as you can.
Because drinking and showering don't go hand in hand. There that's my PSA of the day.
3 cups of coffee and some molly. The "Tay's Day Off Diet"
Sorry I blacked out in bed
it was real late and you were brushing your teeth with miller light. it was bound to happen.
Randomize
