R you on birth control?
No, why?
...no reason
You know that bakery that Sandra Bullock's sister owns?
The one in Montpelier?
yeah, well it doesn't exist anymore. VT's one fucking claim to fame closed.
you have to give me like a days notice for these kinds of things, you cant just call at 9 am and expect me to be sober
Dude we need to petition the city about running buses later, none of my booty calls own cars
smelt my brothers hands when he got home to see if he lied about smoking again...he didn't lie but i definitely didn't expect to smell some other girls vagina.
I tried telling the cop that I don't do drugs, and that if he'd just take me home I could prove it by showing him my D.A.R.E. certificate.
No, i will not have sex with him again. It felt like he was trying to bulldoze his way through me. My vagina is on strike.
The only image of you you know is from reflections or pictures. Its 2d. But what other people see is 3d. How do you know that's your real face! MIND.BLOWN.
The cab driver is now flexing at a red light...
Come over. We're getting stoned and watching DogTV
I love this text stream: discussing the development of a business model centered around cooking acid to bankroll a yacht trip in Croatia
She told me I was absolutely not allowed to sleep with him even though she knows I'm a rule breaker who loves a good challenge.
Sex in a tree, bucket list CHECK!
I'm fucking my way through California and it's kind of fun.
I texted him back and I am so nervous I may vomit up all of the soup I just ate.
Randomize
