Riding a fattie is like riding a scooter, its ok just not in public.
there's a guy here who looks like a hipster got a hold of obama and gave him a makeover.
So I ate yogurt with the back of my toothbrush. I feel like I've officially been initiated into college.
I just remembered before I gave him head I couldn't find a hair tie and he offered to hold my hair up. Maybe we were wrong.. Maybe he does have a heart.
i was wearing footie pjs. how could there be confusion as to who i hooked up with, thats not something you forget
Bullshit. No way. If I brushed past your penis it was completely coincidental.
On an unrelated note, i found out who duct taped shoelaces to my face
Woke up in an unfamiliar pair of underwear, running shoes but no socks, and a cowboy hat. Thank you crown royal
You don't have anything to lose--we've established that he's not going to murder you and he smells good.
I think he's speaking German to me now
Nevermind, he's just drunk and not texting properly
I haven't been this unsober in a long time. I feel like I am observing myself. Like I am a test subject for alcohol. I wish my brain would shut up and let me be a normal drunk.
Turns out the dorm toilet can't take a punch. Gonna be a long year without Mexican food.
He put rainforest music on before we had sex I felt like I was in the Amazon
Why can't he just dump me? This is like a baby seal clubbing the hunter
Wait... why were you finger painting at one in the morning?
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