you guys are cousins why the FUCK are your pants off
still doesn't change the fact you were dunking your sock in the toilet.
I just realized I used lady gaga lyrics in my research paper on marie antoinette
Tequila shots with cinnamon and orange write it down before I forget
Im about to shotgun a beer using my mother's knitting needles. home sweet home.
I'm this close to masturbating to his profile pics from 2006
He whinnies like a horse when he's cumming. I wish I would have known this before we got into a relationship.
Nothing says never again like hurling in the shower.
In case you wake up wondering why your eyes hurt... You were claiming to be Zeus and that mortal weapons couldn't harm you. Some chick took it as a challenge and pepper sprayed you. Sorry dude.
Ok let me just clear up this blowjob thing first so we can talk about your grandpa
You have better ratings than Crest. Only 4/5 dentists recommend it. You have 8/9 recommendation for your blowjob skills.
Your shirt... Was in my pants
What use have I for dignity? It just get's in the way of the really fun stuff.
hurry up. it's a friday night and i'm drinking in my office by myself. wearing a stewie griffin costume. the cleaning lady is judging me.
I don’t care how cute or big a guy is I’m done with drunken hand jobs. It was like I was pulling a nine inch bungee cord for 25 minutes. Now My arm and shoulder is dead
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