you said grace in the diner. 5am, drunk, grace. you thanked the man w the mushroom cut for the wonderful supply of screwdrivers
Thinking about fake proposing to my gf just so the middle aged women next to us will buy us drinks
I swear I only do things like fuck 19 yr olds just to hear how you laugh when I tell you.
she fell through a window trying to flash someone
Today is leap day..... If that's not an excuse to blackout all day I don't know what is
Please explain why there is a video of you peeing in the Taco Bell bathroom on my phone? Also why did you wink at the end?
Hey will pizza rolls help if you accidentally get a diabetic chihuahua drunk?
Yea we had fun. Lost my wallet some girl has it. Sarah fell asleep in a cab and ended up at some wawa. It was cray. She's home now
That moment when your fucking in an airport bathroom and forget to lock the door. That poor man...scarred forever...
I woke up with a black eye and a buttplug...not sure I really want to know what happened.
please tell dad to clear the porn off his tablet before he lends it to anyone from now on
No fucking Jell-O shots or meth. Those are the rules
YOU ATE THE FUCKING GOLDFISH!?
People don't believe me when I say the bruises are from work. They just smile and say "right." Trust me, I WISH my sex life was that exciting.
I ripped ass in on and around her face during a hard 69. I don't think she'll ever call me again.
Randomize
