i should write a book entitled 'the joys of being sexually objectified'
totally got the gold medal for the best fence jump when the cops came.
Whats the name of the guy with his hand down my pants?
I am growing concerned with the number of people here in cowboy hats
His dick was as big as my arm. Giving him a handjob was like giving someone an Indian sunburn.
come over, blizzard of oz party. dress up.
Thanks man, but unless some hot chick comes in to work with a case of beer and offers me a head job, I'm pretty much screwed for New Years
Told him I'd blow him in the bathroom. There was a giant window everyone was looking thru. He whipped it out n I burst out laughing n walked away. Even blackout drunk I set the bar high. You should be proud.
oh wow I have been there. Hell one time Matt and I woke up naked with pizza rolls in the bed.
I think I died last night.
Yeah, you got carried home
And everyone was looking at me because it was cold and I was drunk and may have screamed "oh fuck" ... You know what, fuck that. What do people think they're getting at Denny's 2 in the morning
I take to many stalker pics of him. If he ever looks through my phone he'll never give me sex again :(
Ok thats great. so just to recap: you fucked a billionare in his penthouse last night, and I had a glass of wine on the toilet.
I LACK THE NECESSARY BRAIN FUNCTIONS TO BE ABLE TO PROPERLY RESPOND TO THAT
Best neighbors ever! They found the guy ive been wanting as a booty call and got me invited to the party the guy was at and gave me alcohol so i could be tipsy when met him. im never moving.
Randomize
