I have carpet burn on my ass, I'm rethinking my decisions last night.
when I woke up the last searched thing on my phone was "how to make a fireproof dress" I need to stop drinking.
are you sure you're not interested? he's the dunkin donuts employee of the month.
So the next morning, she had to tell her kids we were moving furniture around all night.
he's werid. hell kiss me after i go down on him but he wont kiss me after i eat anything with mustard.
I was so drunk, I was kissing everyone. Their sexual preference was none of my concern.
That's all? I'm a pro at gay chicken. I'll touch his dick, I have no problem with that.
If I believed in "responsibility" and "having limits", I would probably say I consumed too much alcohol in the last 48 hours
i just found a red feather stuck to my penis and i really wanted to send you a picture but too much
How'd your Tinder date go?
Well, I met his girlfriend...
It's all fun and games until you have to pay the bar tab.
All I know for sure is, I went to bed drunk and I woke up in a relationship..I think I need to reevaluate my drinking skills.
Help. I am eating nachos. But I'm with some guy. I need help. I don't know where I am. The nachos were so good. I'll bring them but help me.
He struggled for a second trying to unhook my bra and I said "4/10. Novice."
I'm the only person I know that carries solo cups, shot glasses, ping pong balls, two decks of cards, and a lawn chair in his trunk. I'm ready to turn anything, anywhere into a party.
Randomize
