They're drinking Schnapps out of Spaghetti-o's cans. Please come pick me up.
no. it doesnt count as road head if youre parked
you cant just puke in an arbys and not order food. thatd be rude.
dude wearing that thong all day was not worth the 7 bucks
You just handed me your ATM card and wrote your PIN number on a dollar bill and said "for bail money."
Vegas should really enforce the buddy system because if not everyone is going to end up swimming during the water show in front of the Bellagio.
There's Dick Pix, Zorro, and The Little Engine that Could. I nickname my fuck buddies for the exact same reason why you don't name animals which you will one day have for dinner.
YOU CANT FOOL THE TOILET
Never ever make a tattoo bet. I now have a shamrock on my dick.
Had sex in a blanket fort. How was your weekend?
im shaving my vagina and listening to frank sinatra, im coming over after
I just found a ladybug shell in my underwear. What was I doing last night?
Nice. Make him jerk off and tape it. Send it to his woman. I also love that you had another skype date
Sooo does anyone wanna tell me why I threw up a cigarette this morning?
OMG YOU DID TO?!
And I think she just drunkenly ordered an ipad. she said it was so pretty she couldn't keep it "locked up" because an ipad has to be let free.
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