OMFG I JUST SAW SOMEONE GIVING SOMEONE ELSE ROAD HEAD AND THEY HIT A POTHOLE. my day has been officially made.
they thought it would be fun to get out their yearbook and see who hooked up with the most guys..I won...I don't even go to the same school
waiting in line for my ID. the kid in front of me reaks of hopes and dreams and hornyness-- freshmen by calvin klein
the cop then proceeds to point out the "proud parent of a dare graduate" bumper sticker and say well i guess it's time to take that off
I dont think he stole the pillow. I mean if he wanted a souvenir, my thong was on the nightstand.
My brother just asked if I would keep having one nighters with that guy because he really likes the organic cotton v-necks he leaves behind.
Climbing out Mr. Friday night's bathroom window. He thinks I'm puking. Be on state st. with the getaway car and if you could bring me a shirt and some advil that'd be dandy.
So proud. See you in five. I've got coffee.
The walk of shame is a lot easier when I'm at a music festival and it's 12 feet from his tent to my tent
You are living the dream.
The first guy I ever sexted is having a baby.. Is this what adulthood feels like?
I knew I'd like her from the moment she supported me messing around with my co-worker on my lunch break
It's almost sad. It's like the Harambe of vagina stories really.
and idk now I have nine bags of lettuce in my fridge
I've slapped too many boys and done too many naked laps for it only to be 10:30pm
I probably would do him if given the chance but how awkward would Bible study be after that.
I a very close black and white picture of my slightly erect penis and I blew it up put it in an art gallery for a show coming up and somebody bought it for 30 Grand!!!
Randomize
