That poor girl was naked and had to be at a job interview in an hour
She's sitting on the couch buck naked, eating a cupcake for dinner. I'm breaking new ground as a parent here.
Would it be inappropriate to do lines in front of the cable guy?
I hate it when she philosophizes drunkenly on my kitchen counter. not even sober do i understand latin.
my step dad just called me a drunken slut..someone in my family finally understands me
Seriously. He was just sitting there naked in the dark with a boner pissed that I came home late.
You tried taking his shirt off at the bar. He was 37 and married with kids.
Oh, and she's that dumb bitch that goes out in public in full make up and sweats with uggs. I hope she falls face first in a bowl of queso and drowns
In the middle of having sex she stopped, said "guess what, it's clitoris awareness week" and then continued fucking me
he literally referred to his penis as the alaskan bull worm from spongebob. when can we get married
I'm running on 2 hours of sleep. Just spent 6 minutes staring at the back of my hand thinking: "I don't really know this that well"
Walking into her house she felt something in her bra.... It was a used condom. Sadly enough this is not the first or last time it will happen. It's time for an intervention.
Unexpected pussy is the best kind. Never expected to get any from a stranger at my little brother's bar mitzvah.
Mazeltov!
never let me tell the bartender to cut me off, i basically told on myself
i don't want him to see me in a bathing suit.
hasn't he seen you naked?
well yeah, but it's different in a bathing suit.
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