I thought pig tail meant you were suppose to grab on to it when getting BJ
She is chewing on staples and spitting them at her cat, I think it's time to leave..
No, my body just knows its the weekend and wants to rage. Very different from alcoholism
This guy either needs to stop touching me or buy me another drink.
I just ate a can of beans for dinner so I can afford to go get a 5$ bottle of wine. I really did not think these choices would still be necessary at age 25.
Rub those nipples and moan like a platypus.
Jesus, are you hammered?
Hammered for that juicy ass. I'll bring the straws.
I just wrote "where Jason is" on the screen. He guessed "hospital" correctly.
He did not appreciate the "you did reuse the diamond" comment when looking at his new fiance's ring.
I had to convince someone last night that the fact that he couldn't get me off wasn't him it was me and to clarify I had to tell him there was only. One person that got me off every time without fail, he said "that guy is my hero" you should be proud
And I just want to be like your tongue is not a FUCKING sword
Maybe if I get to know him I'll stop wanting to fuck his wife so much.
I just started the bonfire using a tampon. Who knew they could have multiple uses?
I was so hungover at work I had my shirt on backwards. I had no idea how I managed to get through today puke free.
We are never doing shots of gin. Never again.
I'm pretty sure that's exactly what we're doing.
Idk... I'm not sure why anyone would use a flesh light in general. Let alone hook it up to a wifi device.
Randomize
