Friends don't let friends fuck ugly girls. WALK AWAY FROM HER!
You are colorful like whore, yet adorable, like sad puppy. You need more drink.
I'm starting to have hip problems from having my legs spread too often.
She started licking your face, then you turned to me and said "I guess thats my cue", and you proceeded to hook up with her.
i will be blacked out in the shower. come get me. 20 mins.
You better fuck one or both of those bitches and bring me pictures that will make me uncomfortable
I can do at least one of those things.
New justification for blow: drug week; 'how it's made'
Slept with my first Irish dude before I even got off the plane. Dublin has no idea what I have in store for it.
I think these people may actually be nudists. You know it's bad when I feel uncomfortable.
Fun thought: I realized the thing I miss most about him is dixie kong's double trouble on his super Nintendo. It's possible that I don't have a soul.
I went to an 8am hookup in another guys sweatpants. Who is the really player here?
My fucking earlobe is bruised what the hell
I shoulda been born a dude. There's too much power in a vagina.
You can be responsible and still be on that ho life
my roommate had drunk sex above me in our bunk bed and then built me a fort to apologize the next day
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