this is a family affair. You're an embarrassment.
whatever it's not my family
girl in front of me in lecture is looking up on ask.com about chlamydia.
youre talking to a girl on facebook chat right now and im sitting behind her in class lol. creepy?
I really want to know why half of my kitchen floor is missing.
we are watching a video on ethics because somebody wrote "butt sex" on the attendance sign in sheet
At least I tried to be smart when I brought the alarm clock into the bathroom just in case I fell asleep.
Haha crisis adverted. Just told my dad I need to bone this guy. Nbd. He totes understands
I sent him a pic of my tits and he said "Word." I need a drink.
My mom just walked in and she was like "Who ate all of the cheese?" and all I could think of was you trying to become a human taco
I feel violated by Miley Cirrus's performance in the VMA's.
I made a joke about The Hemingway being a really boring sex position where you blandly describe all the action and then kill yourself after you orgasm. He stopped responding. I've GOT to stop talking to everyone like they're you.
Despite breaking my phone, thumb, and my dignity, last night was pretty good.
I got the security footage. Thank you boobies!
All I can remember from last night was eating nutella and touching myself to Weird Science.
He just took off his shirt. I'll text you later.
Randomize
