Crosby and Malkin: Two girls, one cup.
he pointed at my clit and asked with a confused face, 'whats this thingy??"
he squeezed my boobs like he didn't know what else to do with them, then turned down head...
told you he was gay.
All I did this weekend was get my life in order. I feel like I wasted my time.
OMG HE JUST PUKED WITH THE DOOR OPEN WHILE DRIVING ON THE ROAD AND OMG WE NEED TO CHAT BUT NOT ATM CAUSE THERES PUKE ON MY PHONE
I'm sitting next to a ginger. She is decked out in olive green. Gingers fucking love olive green.
Do you know how to give stiches?
I do not...this text concerns me
Dad had me doing shots of chocolate mint Everclear last night. I've never felt closer to him.
You were so proud of your stupid "magic trick" but all you did was piss on the couch. don't talk to me for a few days.
I couldn't find pants for like 20 minutes so I was butt ass naked just sitting on your floor
I felt kinda awkward walking into his house in nothing but lingerie and my dead grandmas overcoat
I can always pull a half day at work too. My boss makes exceptions for drug use. Lol. I fucking love my job.
And here I thought that was one nut sack too many
I can see your house from here
Get off of his fucking roof
Who am I kidding? With my track record, I'm going to end up sleeping at the strip club with just nipple tassels on.
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