I had a dream last night, there was a gumball machine that was filled with Oxycontin. I would try to get some but got vitamins instead. I was so frustrated!! woke up angry.
They normally just get fucked up and see who can hold their hand on the exhaust the longest. It's great
I sat on his lap and we shared a beer. I feel like that's an invitation to his dick.
I'm sorry to inform you but your friends with benefits card has expired has the beginning of the year. If you wish to renew your card you must submit a picture of a fully erect penis. Please note that not all request for a FWB card is accepted.
I'm challenging a 70 yr old alcoholic woman who is half my size tonight. Wish me luck
DO NOT EAT ONE OF DONOVANS WEED RICE CRISPIES. I REPEAT DO NOT EAT IF YOU VALUE YOUR EYE BALLS
Yeah just got a blowjob at busch stadium during the cardinals game childhood dream realized
Sorry, but you probably shouldn't come over. I'm too sober for this.
If I interpreted our horoscopes correctly...you should be coming home with an 8 ball. Just saying.
Nahh. Maybe not even a handful. It's more like a heaping teaspoon worth of dick.
i hope youre ready for a shit show because we just ordered a whole pitcher of red headed sluts
Let me begin to explain the rest of last night by beginning with saying that out if necessity I took a pair of your underwear
just reached the point where my breast implants paid from themselves in free drinks.
There is a time and place for BDSM, in-between disney sing-alongs is not one of them.
She was riding me and giving me score updates to the basketball game at the same time..... Shes a keeper
Randomize
