Woke up in a pool of alcohol sweat. Probably could wring out my sheets and make a decent cocktail.
I feel like one of those toads that you lick to get high or find a prince.... cept when you lick me you find a drunk whore.
he's a nude model. what could you have done to make him feel awkward??
Drunkenly auctioned off my bed for 3 tequila shots
He left his shoes, boxers and socks at my house & managed to walk home to his dorm without realizing anything was missing until 3 days after. That's the last time i'll ever hook up with a freshman.
Are we doing anything tonight after class for Valentine's Day or just being lazy and having sex?
If you expect me to say anything other than 'lazy and sex' you're crazzzzy!
on a brighter note, the cop thought i could kick adams ass if it came down to that and said he had $20 on me if it ever happens
No sex in the champagne room. The champagne room being my life
On the train at 650am after a night of clubbing and running away from a new zealander who was buying us beers but also licking windows
This late night dumpster diving sesh is making my quads cramp up
easter 2014 is on 4/20 THIS IS NOT A DRILL YOUR FAMILY WILL EXPECT YOU TO BE HOME AND SOBER I REPEAT THIS IS NOT A DRILL
The neighbor just yelled bring me back that big red alien penis.
The girl neighbor.
I know this is super early in advance but can I borrow your horse mask on 4/20
We used to bone, but now she's my life coach.
Bill says he deeply regrets the incident with the soda bottle
I don't know how it started but we all ended up shirtless andI was covered in crawfish and wearing a sombrero.
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