Yeah I'm pretty much like lane on gilmore girls except my mom doesn't look so mean all the time.
she looked like the before picture.
Come over! I've just turned Titanic into a drinking game. I drink every time I want to fuck Leonardo DiCaprio.
I wish there was a Glade Plug-in for vaginas
let's skip the party, and just play drunken wii, again. its time to give my vag a break.
I'm talking like I woke up and her bra was spinning around caught on my ceiling fan
In the middle of fucking me, she said "Hold on, I need my Hulk hands."
He pulled his dick out during the Bourne Ultimatum, ruined it for me.
Dude, she literally just asked me if her mac'n'cheese makes me horny. I think I found the one.
I'm microwaving a frozen bottle of Two Buck Chuck while watching The Proposal with my housemate. I'm not sure what success is like, but I'm fairly confident this isn't it.
He wanted to bang in the work van while we were on shift together. He convinced me with "It's like the Scooby Doo van but looks nothing like the Scooby Doo van."
He's easy on the eyes, light on his feet, and rough in bed...what more could a girl ask for in a rebound?
he's the kind of guy you give a fake number to and he still finds out your real number anyway...
Memeber that time you got detained in Poland. We don’t talk about that enough
I had a threesome with my hot neighbor and his GF and by threesome I mean I heard them getting it on in their apartment and I was in my apartment with a vibrator
and I may have moaned his name loud enough that they heard me because now he won’t make eye contact
Randomize
