So I thought I was doing pretty good and then I sneezed and prematurely ejaculated...
New. Vanessa hudgens nude pics
That text made me feel like i signed up for some awesome celeb nude pic reminder
Also, on a completely related note, just came up with an awesome business plan. You in?
So chef boyardee smells exactly the same after you throw it up
i literally discovered the exact same thing last week. i had the lasagna one
ravioli
sometimes i wish i was a boob, they get to chill in soft and cuddly little cup things.
its 4am and she invited me over to split a 'romantic bowl of frosted flakes'...really dude?...what do you think she's trying to say?...she better not be kidding about the frosted flakes though.
Things we need. Powerade. Water in fridge. Mixers for vodka. And reality checks.
Hey do you eat chocolate chip pancakes with bacon in?
DO NOT MAIL ME A PANCAKE
I don't remember... but I heard a cop threatened to pepper spay my dick
Woke up backwards on a recliner
Considering who their parents are, maybe you should use vodka for the baptism.
The bar tender had his entire hand down your asscrack.
I forgot about that. I was in MULTIPLE dimensions.
Idk what's happening right now but im wearing a tutu and pissed as fuck.
You don’t need a wing man if you have a solid hook up on the pumpkin pie
I successfully cockblocked 5 people in one night. I wasnt getting any, why should they.
so i went to the bathroom and my thong was on sideways... i guess that solves the mystery
Randomize
