Best walk of shame ever. Not only did I not remember his name or the fact that we fucked, they all watched as I tried to get into 3 cars that werent mine
Oh and I threw up on myself...
If the first sentence isn't something about weed or the nature of choclate I'm skipping class.
I drew a venn diagram at the top of my final comparing stuff i know and stuff on the test.
In my defense it was my birthday and I really wanted to do it.
i just saw some one pass a baby through the drive-thru window at dairy queen.
I don't mean to insult you, but did you leave your training bra in my bedroom last night?
She just shoved like three McNuggets in her mouth and started sobbing and I have no idea what's going on.
Please tell me I didn't try to make out with a 70 year old Romanian man last night ...
Was your bare penis on or around my blanket?
This bird just went for my eyes. Does he think I'm dead???
Stop confusing me with every girl you know that doesn't like sex.
She used to be cute, back when we were young.
Oh well, so were platform jellies. Shit changes.
I resent the implication of a jizz addiction
I once left mine in my bra and I forgot and I didn't notice it was there until it vibrated.
Dude i just passed out while getting head...she cried
Randomize
