...so i touched it.
Your sister thinks she pees out of her clit. Did you have Sex Ed or Sunday School growing up?
Does it make me a prostitute if I accepted a Life House concert ticket for giving this guy head?
No. It just means your good at giving head.
did i really just refer to you as "the mid season replacement"
I feel bad for the next person that's gonna live in my room. There's so much semen on the carpet
I think it's a friendship ring and the other part is on his cats collar
there are some nice people on this island. free ride free pancakes and they even prayed for us when they dropped us off
You said you were going inside to sober up and then you poured yourself a wine glass of warm gin
My inner buddhist recalls, "You receive the d when you aren't looking for it, only when the d wants you." True story.
I probably should have eaten more before I started shotgunning beers at 9am, but it was so much damn fun.
It's one PM on a Saturday and I'm sitting here drinking Jack, eating a block of cheese and playing Minecraft. Please tell me you can come drag me to a bar.
HahahahahaHAHAHAHAHAHAHA MY LIFE IS A CAUTIONARY TALE
You're always so late and I'm always so drunk.
It took like and hour to get him in me and then he came in like 2min. Size aint everything
Shame - the story of my life.
Randomize
