Grow some girl-balls and come out already
turns out the website for Dick's Sporting goods is not "dicks.com". It was a win either way.
i have now learned nap means the same thing as sex in college
but seriously ill do anyone in one of those hats with the earflaps.
You know how I know it's Spring Break? I just passed a car with "South Padre bound" shoe polished on the back. The driver was blatantly drinking a roadie and getting road head.
hey got me stoned for the first time when i was 14. there is no bond stronger
My flask crushed my baggie full of aderall in my backpack, why can't my demons just live together in peace
Yea. I think between making the bride puke, feeling up the maid of honor, and sleeping with a bridesmaid. I did my part.
He won't ever take me seriously if I keep getting drunk and hooking up with all his friends.
Oh my god i hate key west. No one takes amex and strippers took all my money
Bring me the dick of your room mate Alex and I will reward you in in skittles.
We got really stoned and then we fucked. Then he made me a panini.
Oooh, he sounds pretty classy
Actually, not at all. We were stoned so he made me a peanut butter panini. With a Rollo in the middle of it. And he left the panini press on all night. I could have died.
Captain America stopped by our tailgate. He ate a taco.
No. DON'T DO IT. Friends don't let friends fuck clowns.
My autobiography will be 500 pages of the words "I probably should've thought this through" typed over and over.
Randomize
