let's just say, the carpet matched the drapes. in colour and length.
i just saw a white kid with an afro using a martini shaker as a coffee thermos. go college.
YouTube is recomending me a video on how to make a home made meth bong, what has my life come to?
My right boob is officially about a handful while my left is 1 and 3/4 handfuls. I'm staring at the mirror falling into a deep depression.
I wanna throw up and cum in that order
She asked me to head butt her and after half a bottle of whiskey that seemed reasonable.
So would it be tacky to offer my services as a future attorney as an engagement gift for her?
Apparently she has a 10 week old kid, which would explain the hallway effect I was feeling.
If your plan is to re-bang every girl you banged in high school - you're gonna need a spread sheet and clip board.
She really has to stop the coke at some point. Won't she run out of money eventually?
Won't she run out of nose eventually?
Apparently he walked into the room and started yelling at some huge hairy dude to get out of my room. Except it wasn't my room... Because he was on the fourth floor.
I had a sex dream about Fox Mulder, and the Royals just won the World Series. My life is complete.
You act like tequila is some sort of sex juice
I'm just going to take a nap and hope I wake up more attractive.
Got so high i fell asleep kyaking...for 2 hours.
Randomize
