Rock
Scissors
Fuck
My mom came into my room and told me to flip off the tv. I gave it the middle finger. Note to self: STOP SMOKING THIS SHIT
I put cups full of chips next to every bed, couch, and toilet so that everyone could have a snack when they woke up....
She tied me up with her honor cords...
and then you seriously asked him to senior prom..which freaked him out since you told him earlier you were 22
I'm single as of 11 minutes ago. I was the chick who drunkenly tried to climb into bed with you 2 weeks ago. Wanna make this happen?
Of course not. I'd be offended if you didn't bring my boobs into casual conversation.
Woke up in your shoes. Please tell me you woke up in mine
My life has come to reading articles about dating an ex heroin addict. I'm doing well.
Oh god now he thinks I'm into him because I've been staring at him trying to figure out what animal he looked like
DON'T PUKE iN THE PRINGLES CAN, WHATEVER YOU DO!
I wanna hang out. The cats don't talk back.
Is it acceptable to pay for WiFi on flights solely for the purpose of getting on Tinder to find a sugar daddy on the plane that doesn’t mind upgrading me to first class?
Do it. You’re flying for two weddings. You’re gonna need that first class.
I told you I couldn't sleep because of the speed and you rolled over and replied "shh. just pretend."
how did i manage to wake up with my bra on backwards?
Randomize
