Reach down the front of your pants and feel around for a while. When you find your balls, leave the library and meet me at the bar.
Not even drunk me wanted to have sex with him. I kept intentionally hitting my head on the table behind me during sex till he said i was too drunk for sex.
He made me a mix cd. There is obviously something wrong with him.
I could tell by the Randy 'Machoman' Savage "hey brother" that you were beyond inebriated
You wouldn't let me clean the puke off your face because I'd mess up your cat whiskers. Now that's dedication.
I need input, can I pre-game my cat scan?
I fell asleep with all the lights and heat on in the apartment with windows open, Earth Hour is lost on people like me.
I took a few sips of my hugeee bottle of liquid Vicodin and smoked my one hitter and now I'm going thru my attic like Indiana Jones
omg just made cake vodka jello shots, sooooo excited
dear god these taste like death. death and sprinkles
Talked to Nate, told him he was a douche. Will give details when sober. It's ok. You're my best friend together a wolf pack. Olive juice.
This is embarrassing but i think i might have left my fake tooth at your house on your night stand.
the manischevitz sangria was a big hit
ON A SIMILAR NOTE MY DICK SIZE PSYCHIC SKILLS ARE SO GOOD
I realize designer coke was a douchey thing to say but the point of the story is I did bath salts
I was so ripped I had a natty light box over my head carrying a spray bottle out in the streets trying to give car washes.
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