we screwed to my bar mtzvah tape, I became a man while watching myself becom a man
My mom walked down and caught me drinking by myself, watching the nanny at 3:30AM. I had no idea what to say
Ive been tazing him too get him immuned. He will be unstopable.
we have to get out to the bar earlier. all of the guys are already committed to the girls they're going home with.
He came in both my eyes, then refused to give me a towel unless I found him by playing Marco Polo
Think about if the incredible hulk and king kong had a retarded baby. That's the sound she made in my ear the entire time I fucked her.
Every time I there's a break up, I'm left with an animal. That's it. No more mutual pets.
i think you may have a shot to cock block in a moment. just saying.
Wake up an cock block please bc these are noises i dont ever want to hear again
Dude, you can't even imagine the trip, I actually thought that there were Care Bears sitting next to me at the bar, I'm pretty sure I started hitting on the pink one.
I couldn't finish the episode and had to lay down because the snapple commercial with the mustache was blowing my mind
We had sex and he ended up in the hospital... don't know if I should be worried or proud.
Being the hot sister definately has advantages, I'm pretty sure I ruined her engagement
I can't believe we really went to walgreens to use their cork opener, bounced and drank a bottle of wine in a sketchy corner...
To this day, I regret not having sex in the bathroom
She told me she loves wine, but hates the mud butt the next day. Dude, way to much info on a second date.
Randomize
