First thing she said after sex was.. are you baptised by chance?
We better get laid next semester cause I prayed hard
I even walked 30 feet with my eyes closed from two love rocks so that we get some cock
You know I'm really starting to enjoy being everyones first gay experience
her face looked like how i feel after Taco Bell
knew it was a bad idea. the look she gave me when i left her roommates bedroom in the morning really illustrated that.
and PS, please don't fuck in the corn maze, k?
I kinda wanna eat your hands right now.
Put down the everclear and go to bed.
Not sure if this is better or worse than the discovery that bourbon and hot chocolate is a viable combo
Hey.. Here's a thought for the evening. There's only two more sleeps until I fuck you so hard my back teeth will convulse.. Here's too Tuesday! Woohooooo
She's the worst person, but the best naked person
Bless her heart. Her stupid, drunk, adderall-ed heart.
Ran out of deodorant. Febreze on a paper towel? Kicking college's ass.
I manage to fit my wine bottle in my koozie and the rest is history
Go have fun. I'm gonna go shower off the regret.
Turns out, it's impolite to repeatedly request Seal "Kiss From a Rose" at bars
Randomize
