Sometimes I wonder if my friend studies mystic Christian theology because he's afraid to come out of the closet. Evidently, it's okay to talk about God coming inside you, but not to say the same about dudes.
Jennifer and I just ate like 4 jello shots w/ a guy dressed as inspector gadget. We are still in the capital building btw
I love Texas.
I hope im prettier
yea, just so you know this whole self-loathing thing is getting pretty fucking annoying
And we will make penis cookies and eat them suggestively
I wouldnt endorse that guy if he was walking in a walkathon to raise money for a disease i had
he met me at the airport with a welcome home sign with a grilled cheese, PBR and a blow job on it. i missed america.
Just kicked a guy in his penis in order to win a dance contest on Bourbon....desperate.
The kid next to me is typing a powerpoint presentation.. title: Reasons to Wear a Condom, subtitle: The Ian Story
The first slide was titled: You Could Get a Girl Pregnant.
scratched cornea got me an eyepatch and a blowjob from a girl with a thing for pirates
"I gave a guy a handjob last night, on a dog bed, inside a fireplace. It's going to be a good year."
i woke up with fake boobs glued on my chest and a large black dildo on my hand. then i had to dress myself and walk home. people saw.
Topless Tuesday? One of us will be really happy the other not so much.
At what point in a new hookup do you tell the guy you need to wear a mouth guard when you sleepover because of your TMJ? Asking for a friend.
I'm the one who said we should take things slow. I'm also the one who forced him into the back on my car so we could have sex.
I was supposed to see Marcus tonight and he cancelled. Listen, I shaved my butt hole. Somebody is getting this WAP 😂😂😂😂
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