i didnt like the question options for my yahoo account..so i made up the question and it was "favorite bathroom to shit in"
Discovered the secret to willingly attending my 3-o'clock class. Ahoy, Cap'n.
Took me 12 hours to be sober again. Shitshow mission accomplished
next time we drink: battle shots.
battle shots or battle shits? if its the first, explain. if its the second I think I figured it out.
I literally put my pussy on his sideburns, it was awkward
There's a lil minaj in everyone
My mom just walked in and she was like "Who ate all of the cheese?" and all I could think of was you trying to become a human taco
She kept throwing quarters at him and yelling "Goooaaallll!!" whilst taking her clothes off one by one. I'd say she had a good night
Dude I woke up and he was pissing in the corner on his clothes... I called his name an he replied " I got this" and continued.
I just added a bunch of arbitrary options to my ouija board. Ghosts can now tell me "cheddar," "the homosexual agenda," "the whole foods vegan aisle," or "viable offspring"
To drink from my fkask next to a cop car or to not drink from my flask next to a cop car
The owner was showing me around and pointed at one of the bars and said "this is the one you're allowed to dance on. I could tell you wanted to ask." DREAM JOB.
Drunk wound on my leg hast healed and neither has my dignity
You've got until 8 and then I'm kicking down your door and pouring a beer down your ass via funnel
I'm on my way to bail our sister out of jail with our mother's credit card. How old are we??
I HAVENT HAD A NICE A NICE DICK SINCE FEBRUARY!! I WANNA KEEP THIS ONE!!!
Randomize
