Ha. Yes. I'm at a strip club. I'm the barack obama of strip clubs
is it bad that the first thing i do when i get downstairs is go on farm town?
used his ipod to set the mood...1st song was livin on a prayr 2nd song was disco stick
i expected more from guys that i meet at the jersey shore.
I would dunk an oreo in her breast milk
I just saw how many times I called you last night. You're welcome.
idea:have a jello shot stand(opposed to lemonade stand) to raise money for spring break
I've grown up since last year. I don't give blow jobs as birthday presents anymore.
Chicken salad taco, you know, when you're out of bread and crackers, and high.
Second night back. Go to house party and played ring of fire. Me plus five other people completely naked. College wins.. It's going to be a long semester
My fingers feel amazing. Their going like 100 MPH!!
HOLY SHIT. SHIT THAT IS HOLY. HOLY OF THE SHIT.
And theres a reasonable expectation that if you're fighting over a pair of yoga pants on the ground at VS someones gonna videotape it
In her drunkenness, she packed a bag with tequila, two shot glasses, salt, a knife, and two pears. She was prepared but too high to distinguish pears from limes.
I'm so happy I'm only on my second drink. That would have been the best idea ever if I was on my fifth.
Knowing how to carefully mix my vices has to be the #1 skill I've gotten from pharmacy school
See that doesn't work because we've had sex so its awkward for you to call me mom
Randomize
