This chick, for whatever reason, has serious "Leave your wife and kids and also break up her young marriage in order to frolick for a good 2 weeks before I realize that she's just like the rest of them and I made a huge mistake and ruined a lot of lives in the process" potential. It's SO INTRIGUING.
To answer your question of whether I "went back," tits just informed me I was kicked out for falling off my barstool and passing out on the floor...
So I had sex in the woods... it was just as dirty as you'd expect it would be.. and not in a good way.
I mean roof. it goes up. its important day. you should recongziw it.
You're drunk. Make complete sentences.
It's not luke its my birthday or anything. Mike, understand.
Successful New Year's Eve:: Your first shower of the year is on Jan. 2nd... 'cause you didn't trust yourself to stand up long enough on Jan. 1st. Hello 2010.
He bought me a flower. He's totally getting head every day for a week.
I don't see why you're so upset, it's not like you were wearing pants either.
i lost my airplane ticket and tried to board with a bar receipt in all the confusion. i have officially lost all brain cells in college.
Still can't decide which I'm more disappointed about: the blow job I gave him or the donuts I ate after.
Do you relize what downtown will be like this week? Like open season. But instead of deer its hot baseball players from all over the country that we'll never have to see again. I swear the college world series is a gift from god.
mind if i send you a dick pic? so you can see what she wasn't doing right?
it only took 2 hours but we managed to melt the purity ring down with a butane torch
You tired to make us "vodka tacos". Which was just you dipping pitas in vodka.
Any good?
Well. FUCK YA. But that's beside the point
Also, my old intern Lizzie whom you fed pizza to last night wants to hang out with you
You don't feed me, fuck me, or fulfill me.
Randomize
