I am so fucking pissed, there are no Shamwows in the As Seen on TV Store.
Looks like you'll have to stick to jizzing in socks.
the best days in LIFE are when you realize you arent pregnant
you tried to tell me that ice cream had no calories because they were "frozen"
I think we should make Neil Patrick Harris a permanent part of our role playing.
I was too drunk to read the menu, let alone her body language.
i feel this will be the best possible way to start a friendship. By breaking into his house.
He kept moaning America instead of Erica while fucking me.
Helped an old lady on crutches throw away her mcdonalds, carried her stuff to the car and helped her get in...most productive cinco de mayo hands down
I wish you would just come have sex with me in ihop. I don't want to be here
Yeah then she waddled like a duck in silence sat down and ate the entire paper towel roll.
So if I get kidnapped from my office and go missing for a few days does that count against my vacation days and do I still get paid?
When do you want to get tanked and forget our entire college education?
Nothing says male bonding like watching porn with your grandpa
A hefty woman and I mean hefty shoved her number in my pocket at the gym without as much as a hello, winked and kept walking. Going to use your bed to defile her, don't want her to know where I live or have my neighbors see! Thanks, you're a pal!
Man, I miss taking bong rips in my room. Now they are bringing dogs around so all my stuff is hidden in random places up in the woods. I literaly have to hunt and gather just to get high.
Randomize
