So its not gay if you have sex with another woman and its academic
so what if I'm having sex with a woman for recreation?
Thats gay
Youll never guess who has to go to fucking planned parenthood because trojan cant make a fucking condom
5 Four Lokos being cheaper than a case should be illegal.
You drunk dialed me talking about the stages of mitosis. There is no way you didn't ace your bio final
I think whatever his name is just puked on the stairs. Just an fyi for the morning. Love you.
Have you ever had one of those moments when you kept whispering to yourself "I'm not a slut, I'm not a slut..."?
You know how hard it is to jerk off in a bathtub with a dog staring at you?
If kinky sex was an Olympic sport they would be playing the anthem for me as we speak.
Like 50% of me thinks it'll be weird, 25% of me is curious & 25% of me is horny
Mike's my new hero. There's a flagpole of hook-up's bras on his porch and a week's supply of beer in his fridge but he still has a great job.
It was fine. Until I accidentally shit on his floor.
BOOM BITCH SERVES YOU RIGHT I HOPE YOU SHIT YOURSELF PETER PAN
I've had my dick out in public way too much for someone my age...
Plus we had to have sex before the game because there is a good chance we won’t be speaking for the rest of the week. #ironbowl
So someone just asked us for our kidneys?!?
Randomize
