You don't get off work for this? I feel genuinely bad for you.
I'll have a beer when I get into the office. Yes, I hide beer in my work frige.
dude, wtf is with her now? she has stuff up about how i am kicking her while she's down
wtf? who are you bitching about me to now?
Hawaiian shirts and no dignity
We are always on the same wavelength...kinda eerie.
i turned job hunting into a drinking game..
I'm starving. my midnight snack, aka a teaspoon of cum, isn't holding me over
the boys lacrosse roster just went up... now we can see who we had sex with
how did i get to the car and why are my shoes broken
looking back it was a good thing we were too wasted to fire up the chainsaw
I NEED ANOTHER LEVEL OF CAPS TO EXPRESS TO YOU THE MAGNITUDE OF MY FADDEDNESS
Oh you know, we just bobbed for apples in a bucket full of jungle juice. So, a casual Tuesday night.
Heb just said, and I quote, "let's go to Who's On Third and fuck a fishbowl with our mouths. I am going to fuck this van." and then he humped a van.
Dude best one night stand i woke she was cleaning our fridge while waiting for the cab to show
Also barcrawl friday. You ARE wearing a tiara
He asked when the last time I had sex was. I had to look at the clock and respond "12 hours ago"
how do i act around someone who's shoes i puked in while naked and blackout?
Randomize
