ready 4 sex 2nite?
wow. woo me matt, woo me.
oh, and bring over your fire extinguisher. we're gonna get the mailman again
I want Jason Statham to talk British to my vagina.
Yelling drunk tank or bust at a cop, not a good idea
after tonight, seriously nothing could taste better than toothpaste
My new dealer is 16. I have been getting high longer than he has been alive.
I don't see the problem
Remember that time i gave you head on MY birthday and you made me stop so you could watch the rhino part in 300
Woke up in time for my 8:15
Good for you I'm impressed
I realized 10 minutes in it was a class from last semester
Also one of my neighbors is blasting "pumped up kicks" and possibly butchering some chickens
I want you to get your positive energy all over me. I want to to look like something from Ghostbusters.
We need to talk about your improper dealings with the town drug dealer.
Like I blink, and he's face first in my vagina.
Say whatever the fuck you want about me, but leave my deceased cat out of it.
i don't care if you are my best friend. does not give you the right to describe how well my sister gives blowjobs.
how about your cousin?
Something is wrong here. The birds are chirping and I'm not fucking you, I'm not getting head and I don't smell bacon. Why am I up this early then?
Randomize
