is it bad that i shorted Freddie Mac immediatly after I heard about the CFO?
call me tomorrow and ask me about coke-whore stripper. It hasnt happened yet, but im sure it will be plenty disappointing.
I almost didn't wake up for my first day of work. The 3rd bottle of champagne was a mistake. And the 2nd bottle of wine after that was probably excessive
apparently 9 shots of absynthe does not take away your skill to walk. i just woke up under a tree in some field on the other side of town with 4 hours missing.
Just found my DARE notebook from 6th grade. Extacy was starred and highlighted.
At least I've made one childhood dream come true
she works at a police station now. i think thats the definition of keeping your enemies closer.
Ok Ghana you win again. Tell you what...Double or nothing over women's tennis, basketball, hockey, war, baseball, golf, swimming, diving, oil spills, box office proceeds, internet porn sites, criminals incarcerated, women's downhill, bass fishing, NASCAR, or GDP?
Going to bed. I have to wake up early and teach small children. And then have affairs with their fathers. I'm going to get deported.
Apparently riding the dog like its a small horse is frowned upon in this establishment
The problem with never associating with your roommate is that you never know if they're dead in their room with the door closed or just gone for the weekend...I sprayed some febreeze just in case.
Just fat and dog and sweat all over the bed. All night long.
We got a lap dance! I touched a boob!
I feel awful. The bartender added me on Facebook and there's chips all over the bathroom floor
You should have just fucked me in the bathroom when you had a chance!
why did you kick open the doors at church screaming whos ready to party?
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