meet me in the bathroom in 10 mins.
wait what? who are you hooking up with in the bathroom?!
aww shit wrong text.
he puts the penis in happiness.
i barely touched his dick and all of a sudden he yells, "BONER!"
planned parenthood is perfect for picking up chicks...they all put out
you insisted on breathalizing me with a inhaler.
everyone knows he gets back in a week and after that i'm not sleeping around anymore. it's like i have a expiration date.
I'm beginning to feel kind of at home at Police stations
Theres a disney princess moonbounce on karen st. and I'm drinking beer at a little league field. this might end with me in jail.
I can't. He's too cute and my tongue is too long.
as they left, you opened the door, dropped your pants then yelled "don't leave, this is what you're missing"
I don't think the best pickup line was. Hey I have never made a girl orgasm before but I'm sure it will work on someone like you.
He told me that he'd ride his snowmobile from Cincinnati to Toledo in this blizzard just so I could give him head.
No he reached for my hand at the beach. I pretended to be a seagull.
He ate me out while watching Fifty Shades of Grey---needless to say I'm locking this down
He just stopped me mid blow job so he could text his wife asking for TacoBell.
Randomize
