this is like her 8th guy since december, is she wasn't frumpy people would call her a whore
I don't know what kind of drugs you were on last night but you kept trying to highlight my face because you said I was important
i woke up naked with 27 half ripped $ bills in my bed from ripping them off the wall of the bar
he had a blacklight sublime poster, of course i had to do him.
i gave him the "yep, i was your girfriend's collegiate lesbian sex story" head nod
you know I love you but I need to see your friends tits
Im sleeping in your bed. Sorry for the sand and the noise and the loud people. Im starving
Your blankets are not drunk friendly
It was the night of "what the fuck have you done with my daughter and where is she" texts from mom...
What happened after I vommed in your shirt that I was wearing and threw it out the window on the highway?
It's like sexual waterboarding. You gave me sex so good I'm comparing it to torture. Jesus.
I was going to do a cardio thing but then tacos.
I asked him to change the channel. There was no way I could do reverse cowgirl with golf on.
His life is a porno. He snapped me while banging a girl in the back of the ambulance.
I'll meet you in hell with unlimited boxes of wine though
I am no longer and illegal Moonshiner. I just made thousands of gallons of incredibly High test alcohol with police watching and waiting for thare couple of jugs so that they can bring home and disinfect their houses with it. I'm fat with money at the moment.
Randomize
