he just quoted gucci mane to try and get me to give him head.
I'm so used to throwing up its no longer a game of hanging over the toilet. Now it's just 'stand up, aim for the toilet, do my thing' then walk out
I tried to explain to him that we just wanted a stereotypical black friend to be in our group. He didn't take it too well... Never take me to the bar again.
i felt obligated to tell him happy birthday since we trashed his house and i fucked his friend in his basement
Puked in my laptop case in the middle of my nutrition class.
Telling me that I would make a great "occasional fuck" was not appreciated.
do you think if she looks enough like a dude i have to come out to my parents?
Why am I always the sober one?
Cause you're the only one with any sort of self control. It's kinda your super power...
I am too drunk to be out in this weather around all these animals.
So I have a scar from when the stripper tore off my underwear .... Best birthday ever
Lesson learnt. Sex toy cleaning spray is not an acceptable substitute to clean your glasses with.
It's getting to the point where my ability to get dick pix during the work day is impressing even me. Take that, adulthood!
I'm a lady. Ladies do NOT hump the floor.
If you’re wondering why the bong is outside the garage door just know I was being environmentally efficient by not using the freezer to chill my shit
I just had a legitimate orgy. Wearing glowsticks.
Randomize
