maybe if you didn't yell 'buh duh duh da duh da dats all folks' when you came she wouldn't have left last night
nah, shes just mad because we went through all her fb pics and tagged her crotch as all the guys shes fucked
I wish real life had facebook tags so i could figure out who all these people are
Just know that as we speak i am injecting vodka into gushers
So I am just swinging blind here, but I am guessing that blood in your sinus is not ideal
Also, I think I'm too drunk to be at the gym right now. But how sober do you need to be for IM volleyball?
If you're wondering where your left shoe is you lost it in a bet with a homeless guy last night
Totally sleeping on a bloodstained mattress tonight. I love life's little adventures.
Strip club for my birthday. And none of this discrimination shit. We're going to a guys one and girls one. Go get your singles.
Sorry, not ignoring you.. We broke open the other piñata left from cinco de mayo and it was filled with condoms, mini booze bottles, and those little party horn things you blow into. You'll forgive me when we're fucking for days with all these free condoms.
Pierced my own nipple last night, and yes everyone did go absolutely nuts
WHAT THE FUCK JASON, WHY IS THERE A FREE BLOW JOBS BY LISA SIGN IN MY FRONT LAWN WITH MY PHONE NUMBER ON IT?! PEOPLE ARE PULLING INTO MY DRIVEWAY!
But college guys get to crossfade so there's that
No idea what that is
Like getting bent? When you drink and smoke together...
I'm 30 stop using your cool kids words
My vape juice got mixed up with the astroglide.
Wow..I bet that tasted bad.
Not tasted.
I fucked her with a giant balloon tied to my dick. You tell ME how my night went
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