Goddamnit I hate your level headedness
so the situation is a+b=c where "a" is how much you weight, "b" is my gravitational pull, and "c" is how erect your penis is.
The Ukrainian kid just told me that our econ professor wants to bone me. Please tell me that phrase means something different in Eastern Europe.
Dude. No way. She insults the term butterface. She's a butternothing.
if he only knew that in between each sext i was puking.
She's an honest to god fucking ballerina. She did things I don't have names for.
Nice just gets you lonely or dead. I don't like those options.
It took me half an hour to realize I didnt know them
I knew you were super hungover. But so hungover you fire our house cleaner because her vacuums too loud is excessive
Inebriation Olympics: Team Drunk vs Team Stoned. This weekend. It's on.
As much as I trust your struggle imma deal with being Eskimo brothers with my own sister before I get to that
Just did body shot off a midget. Pretty good start.
At this point in job hunting, I'm willing to become a leather daddy if it means some sort of income.
I may have interrupted sex but im bringing them both to McDonalds. Am I not the greatest older sister ever?
I got eaten out in the igloo at snow-kings castle last night.My thighs were literally melting ruts in the ice bench.Definitely colder than the minus 40 blowjob at Desiree's wedding
Randomize
